Good Soldier/Cheating Spouse

Today I read an article written by a former military spouse whose marriage ended badly. Nothing new there. What has really stuck with me all day is that she said most military marriages end because the service member cheats. While I know it's true that there are many unfaithful service members, I find it hard to believe anyone would say it is the military's fault for creating an environment of indifference and providing so many opportunities to cheat.

To me this is like saying working in bar makes bartenders more likely to be alcoholics. Blaming the environment in which a person works for the decisions they make in their personal life is just another example of what is going wrong with society. 

I have been happily married to a soldier for nearly seven years and dated for three years prior to our wedding. In that time we have only actually been in the same place for six years, with the last three years being the longest period of time where we actually were not separated for more than a night or two because of his service. This time frame includes three back to back deployment. He has plenty of opportunities to be unfaithful and yet I have complete faith in him that there has been no infidelities.

Yes, the military makes it easier for either the spouse or the service member to cheat considering the deployments, months they are separated for schools, and field exercises. But in the end, it is the decision of the individual to have extra-marital sex or not. I would be lying if I said I didn't have a passing attraction to another man while my husband was deployed. But I made the decision to be faithful, I would not put myself in a position where I could raise doubt from my husband.

To say the military creates an environment of indifference to me is another excuse. The United States military is the only organization in the country that can sentence a service member to jail time if he is found guilty of committing adultery. Personally, I cannot think of any other profession that would go to such extremes to discourage infidelity. Don't believe me? Look up the Uniformed Code of Military Justice, the laws and regulations that every service member must abide by in addition to the laws of the civilian courts.

It is time we take responsibility for the decisions we make. If a person is inclined to cheat, it won't matter what job they are doing. To me blaming the military for infidelity is like blaming McDonald's for obesity. Quit pushing your mistakes on someone else, let's start taking responsibility for the decisions we make, especially in our personal relationships. Because if we can't do that, society will begin to fall apart and there will be no one left to blame.